Do you know what it means to be poor?

I thought I knew what it meant to be "poor" but I found out recently that I didn't have a clue. My understanding of the every day of "poor" isn't/wasn't close to the reality. My oldest daughter has been unemployed for more than 2 years and ran out of unemployment compensation a few months ago. She is currently living in a horrible apartment in a bad part of town with her 6 year old son and her unemployed, 21 year old daughter (who also has a 10 month old baby.) The 4 of them are living in the one bedroom apartment and our other grandaughter is here temporarily.

I knew about poor housing and ugly yards. I didn't know landlords in Ohio are permitted to rent homes or apartments with wall cracks so large that plants grow inside the house from the outside. I didn't know they are permitted to rent places where the mold grows on the walls, where the furnace doesn't work and where the appliances that are included in the price of the rent don't work. I didn't know it is permissible to rent places that have holes in the walls, crumbling steps, rotten porches, exposed outlets. I didn't know security deposits are never returned to the poor because they have no way to force a wealthy landlord to do so. To complain is to be removed from the apartment - the poor have learned if they speak up they will lose whatever shelter they have. It may be mean and ugly but it's a roof over their heads.

I never understood the spirit crushing agony of being poor. I had no idea of the roadblocks and hurdles the poor are subjected to daily. They are charged fees that reduce their already meager funds because they are powerless. They are forced to wait in lines for hours for services whether it is to apply for foodstamps or see a doctor. Scheduled appointments mean nothing to the professionals who are paid to help the poor. The poor are forced to wait and wait for everything. To be poor is to have their phone calls put on hold for endless waits (I timed several "holds" for my one grandaughter - 35 minutes was average.) They are expected to politely and graciously deal with rude and unkind comments made by those who are paid to help them. To snap back is to be sent to the end of the line. To demand respect is to be forced to jump through through endless hoops as punishment by those who can abuse them. To be poor is to be shamed and humiliated on a daily basis.

When my daughter was receiving unemployment, she made too much money to receive medical assistance via Medicaid. She injured her knee and with no medical insurance could not get it diagnosed or treated. She can barely walk. She lives a few miles from Job & Family Services, the agency that helped her with a temporary cash allowance of $355 a month after her unemployment ran out. Walking there is impossible for her. A bus pass is a luxury she can not afford. After paying $350 for rent, she had $5 for utilities, bus passes, items such as toilet paper or cleaning products that can not be purchased with food stamps. She moves often as she rarely can afford the rent for more than a few months. Each move results in lost boxes. She can't locate her birth certificate which is needed to apply for additional aid. The department of Vital Statistics, another state agency, is just down the road a few miles and could provide a copy of her birth certificate but it will cost her $21.50 and she doesn't have the funds. Talk about a catch 22. Wouldn't you think one state agency could simply call another and receive confirmation? She thinks that may be why her case was closed but doesn't know because she can't get her caseworker on the phone, she can't afford to stay on hold for 35-40 minutes and she can't get a call back.

I love my daughter but I know that her decisions and her actions have brought her to where she is in life. I know that she and our grand daughters have had resources available to them to help them live a better life. This isn't really a diatribe on their behalf, rather a realization that we, as a society, are often unkind to the poorest amoung us. Stores charge them a fee to use their cash cards simply because the poor have no leverage and can not fight a $1 or $2 charge. We charge them $1.50 and up to purchase a money order and as much as 5%-7% to cash a check. They are charged relatively high rent for really horrid apartments. Society devalues them and their time by making them wait hours even with a scheduled appointment and withholds something as simple as kindness. Being poor often means being undervalued and unseen. How sad is that?